Percentage wise, it is 100% easier not to do things than to do them, and so much fun not to do them — especially when you were supposed to do them. In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

John Mulaney (via maxistentialist)

Dawg the lecturer #Buddies #Glivion

Dawg the lecturer #Buddies #Glivion

jesus: mom i told you i didn't want a big party

mary: THE WHOLE WORLD WILL CELEBRATE EVERY YEAR